Gifts- not what you think

Photos 2012-2013 372

Just feel like sharing something I have learned. I know I share a lot, but humor me. Thx.

Thinking a lot about gifts today. Not gifts that are material gifts you shop for or a talent that you have. Gifts in a different way. Relationship gifts. A long time ago, someone wise told me about such a thing.

When in a relationship and one of you has a preference or a concern, and the other one doesn’t care as much about the thing, you make it a gift to give that to the person.

My example. Years ago, after the divorce, my ex wanted to take the girls skiing.  I worried about their safety and not being there if they needed me or if something happened. I had no control about where they were and what they did in his care. Kurt gave me a gift that I am so grateful for. He requires the girls to wear a helmet on the mountain when they ski. They still do to this day. Just that little thing,  bending on his part, meant the world to me. He could have made a stink about it, caused a lot of drama. Made me worry and suffer with them being away from me, but he chose differently. He gave me that gift.

Sometimes, when we compromise, we feel resentment.

“Fine, I will do it your way.”

And you feel like you are giving up something or being man handled into it. It’s a negative.

Gifting is a way to feel positive about that compromise. It is a positive.

I give my husband Olaf a gift every day when I put the dishes away. He has a preference for the glasses in the cabinet to be open side up. My natural inclination is to have them down. But, I don’t really care that much, so I go his way. Truth is, I’m not really out anything by giving this to him, but I know he appreciates it.

If something is very important and worth fighting for, ok. Do it.

We all have to pick our battles daily with life, work and family. Think about it, is this an opportunity to give a gift to this person?

If yes, say it. “I’m going to give you this one as a gift.”

It is an incredible feeling.

You should try it 🙂

Big love- H


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