I have noticed that some people are harder to bring back from the brink. They hear things that may or may not be true, but they hold them as true because they are the worst possible scenario for them. They believe that life, and the world in general are not their friends.
Today I thought of someone in my past, who took his life. I wonder if there was anything I could have done to stop that from happening. If I could have helped him. Before it was too late. He was in my life a long time ago, so many years had passed since we had seen each other and he was not in my closest circle. I still cared about him. I doubt he knew.
We spend a lot of time telling ourselves and others that everything is ok.
“How are you?”
But are we fine? Are we one bad day from wanting it to end? What is the tipping point? Is it friendships, love?
I think it must be the overwhelming belief that nothing will ever be ok again. Mixed with timing and opportunity.
What would happen if we all just got very real, and said when things were shitty? If we reached out with a hug, to a stranger in tears on the street? We spend so much time in our own head that we miss what challenges others are having. We walk on by.
Some just have it harder. Certain circumstances, hardships. No support structure. This country doesn’t have a good way to help people through mental illness and depression.
We are losing people. People that have something to give and to say.
They are gone. They leave behind questions, regrets, that we didn’t do more.
Ask them out for a cup of coffee. Send them a note.
Say that we’re sorry for throwing the note in the trash, the one you gave to ask me to the dance. To say I’m sorry, that I was a stupid teenager, completely inept at being anything but dramatic.
We need to stop assuming that because someone says they are fine, that they are.
And all of us, need to challenge the bad feelings of unworthiness and hopelessness that we feel and know that the sun will rise, and a new day will come. Things are fixable and we are not alone. We all have a place in this big wide world.
Ask for help.
We love you.