Wishing, waiting for happiness to come.
There is a phenomenon that has swept us all up. The idea that happiness is around the corner. That it is product of reaching blank, being able to afford blank, or when this specific thing happens. The problem with attaching your happiness to some entity outside of yourself is that that goal is always movable. It serpentines away from you. Things are shiny. There is always something behind the blank, a new blank tempting to steal the happy and extend it out. The blank steals our attention and takes away from what is.
I wish that people could see what is right in front of them.
They are missing out, always looking for the future. The future is unattainable, for it is always further than one can touch. People that spend their lives worrying about the future, or looking back in retrospect to what happened years ago. Living in the past or the future robs you of the present. It robs others too. Oftentimes, people that are stuck in the idea that happiness is the product of an outside event or position; have people around them that enjoy the now. It is exhausting to always trying to help them appreciate what they have, to be grateful for what is. I’m tired of listening to people waiting for their lives to be nice. When and if blank happens.
Please do not mistake, I see definite value in thinking about the future in reference to taking care of yourself when you are older, however, make a damn plan, work the plan and look up at what is happening right now. Depression is another thing. Get some help. Make a damn plan and work that plan. Then get on with it.
You are missing:
Being happy holding hands on the couch listening to the rain. Looking into the eyes of child who is still filled with wonder and brightness. A surprise package at the door. A phone call from a friend. Your favorite sandwich. A smile from a stranger. Remembering that time you were a hero to someone. Finding something you thought you lost. Rifling through a box of old photographs and seeing a funny hairstyle you had. Connecting to a new book. You miss seeing the daisy open for the day. Your child’s excitement when they score well on a test. Feeling proud. Getting pulled into the plot of a movie. Your wife wearing a dress and making herself pretty. Having lunch with a friend. Taking a walk with your love. Doing a puzzle with your kids. A walk in an antique mall and seeing your old toys displayed. Remembering when you were a kid. When your Dad took you fishing or your Mom let you lick the spoon. The site and sound of the ocean. The First snow of the season. The sunlight on your face. Wrapping up in a blanket with a hot chocolate or coffee. Brand new rubber boots. You are missing your bliss.
A (happy) distractor- Retail therapy. Stuff is just stuff. Perhaps spending money you don’t have on things that you kind of like in an effort to be happy. Trouble is that most people that cope in this way, don’t have the extra to be able to sustain it. It is unsustainable. There is always something new and then the debt builds up, stealing the happy, extending out the happy to the unknown.
If you look around and see that stuff is what you will remember when you are on your deathbed and people and memories are unimportant, I invite you to open your eyes. And see.
Another happy distractor- Addiction. My uncle drank himself to death. An amazing, creative and hilarious man, believed that success was always out there. And when it didn’t show up on his schedule, he drank to forget. He drank to escape, he drank for whatever reason he could. And he died. Without reaching the success in writing and film that he wanted. It’s over. This one encompasses retail therapy and drugs as well.
A way to start seeing and feeling your happy is to Love. Remember what you love. If you love flowers, plant or buy flowers. If you love a movie, watch it and remember why. If you love to paint or you love art, go to a museum. If you love animals, visit a shelter and care for them or take one home. Follow your love, as much as you possibly can and soon you will feel happy bits enter your life.
Say the word love. Say it a lot. I love this coffee, I love this outfit, I love this restaurant. Love is not only for your partner and your family. The architecture of this building can be something you love. Love everything. Sometimes I just say Love, because I Love love.
If you don’t love something, move on to something you do.
My wish is that you see the potential happy that is around you today. Smile at the people you see to show that you see them. Do something that helps someone. Appreciate the little things. Expand yourself.
Feel the happy in the waking up Late on a Sunday. Your favorite song on the radio.
Feel the happy in everything you do, see and touch.
I know it can be hard. I promise, though, that it is worth it.
The happy lives in you.
With Love, Hazel